Demon Martini Anyone?
by Buddhahobo
Summary: In a world where Tsunade went to the Sand village... In a world where she got Gaara drunk... This is it's story


-1Drink away thy misery

Twas a bleak in the village hidden in the leaves. Dark clouds brood overhead, as the Hokage looked out of his window to see mothers and older siblings cattle their young charges away from the street, till a lone boy on a swing remained. This boy wasn't hurt that no one came to get him, as there was no one _to_ get him. The Hokage mused as he continued to watch the happily swinging whiskered boy. The old man sighed as the blonde boy scurried off when the rain began, and returned to his huge pile of paper work thinking, not for the first time, 'Why did I take this job…'

Yes, it really was a bleak day in the Shinobi village. It was in fact so bleak, that only Ibiki Morino was having fun, though that, and the eventful hangover of Konoha's Jonin population, is another story, for another time. What must be known of this village is that once, within it's ranks included the 3 Sannin. The Sannin were considered the strongest Shinobi of all time, with powers second only to the Kages. We begin this story with the only female Sannin, Tsunade…

"No, I forbid you to go in there!" wailed Shizune to her sensei, "Please Tsunade-sensei, if your going to use all our money, please use it on something more productive then gambling!"

"Bah! What could I possibly spend money on other then gambling?" Tsunade pouted slightly as She handed Shizune half of the money, " Now be a good girl and rent a room while I get drunk."

With a heavy sigh as her mentor leaves, Shizune goes off to find a hotel in the Sand Village. " Well, at least she isn't going to use all of it by drinking…" She mumbled under her breath.

"Now where is the damn bar around here!" exclaimed Tsunade, when she suddenly heard sounds coming from her left. " What the… " She gaped at the sight of what seemed to be a eye liner wearing child controlling the… _sand?… _to catch two of the children running away. " Now what is going on here!" she yelled as she stalked over to the children. The red-haired, makeup wearing kid was so startled at the person, that the sand dissipated around the two kids

" Now whet happed here… it seems, that both of you got your leg broken," Tsunade said as she went into she medic-nin mode as she shushed the whimpering children, as the other children, previously running away crept closer to the woman " Nothing I can't fix though," as her hands began to glow a faint bluish-greenish color. "And there! Now be sure to get a good nights sleep and you'll have nothing to worry about." as she smiled at the kids awe. " Hey kid! You with the bear, why did you do that?" She asked

The child stuttered "I-I wanted t-to give the b-ball back, ma'am."

" Well in that case," she said " come over here." And the boy went, drown by her inviting nature. "Well, give the ball back." she said.

" H-here is the ball and… I apologize for hurting you…" he said looking down at his feet.

" Thanks.." The other boy said taking the ball.

Awkward silence.

"So…um… see you tomorrow?" the kid said, sweating slightly. ' Please don't kill me, Please don't kill me…'

With a shout of "SURE!" the group ran off, leaving Tsunade with the red haired boy.

"So… kid, you have a name?"

"My name is Gaara, Ma'am."

"Okay Gaara, I'm Tsunade, now onto business, do you know any bars around here?"

After the slight detour in where Gaara brought Tsunade to the village prison to look at the cell bars, Gaara found out that the pretty woman was looking for a pub! The Sand village is British, who knew?

"So you drink this?" Gaara asked, staring into to liquid that Tsunade thrust in front of him. "Yep!" Smiling, Tsunade took a chug from her 20th bottle, " It'll be my treat kid! That bartender isn't charging me anything for some reason…well drink up!"

Gaara thinking ' I might as well..' Before taking a gulp. Then a glass. Then another, and another, and another…

Gaara and Tsunade spent the rest of the time there drinking and Gaara listening to stories of Tsunade's past. 'Is this what a grandmother would be like?' Gaara thought…

To be continued… maybe.

Next time: Wait, that didn't happen in the canon! Where's that Yasha guy? Where did Shizune go? Where was the pet pig?

Author's note: First fic, let's see where this takes us, shall we?


End file.
